PODCAST EP:6 “Overcoming Toxic Relationships”

Regardless of personal of professional relationships, you will encounter people and situations that could be labeled as toxic.

If you've found that you've made it OUT of a toxic situation, don't beat yourself up.

Too often I hear people day "I should have known better"... "I should have figured it out."... "I can't believe I let it go on for so long."

You have to give yourself some grace. As much as we would love to think that we will notice the signs of someone being a narcissist right away, the truth can be hidden behind, compliments, love-bombing, and future-faking.

So how do you overcome it? Let me say, I'm not a professional. I ALWAYS recommend getting professional help, and having someone you trust to talk to. I can only tell you what I did to come to a place where I was able to move on.

First, find a support system. Whether that be your family, a close friend, or even a professional (shout-out to mental health specialists!). Keeping things inside will seriously EAT away at you.

It's better to get all of the poison out of your system so that you can take a deep breath and get some space.

The next thing that helped me is realizing that I can not control how people behave. i can only control how I react.

You may be the nicest person in the world, but the fact of the matter is that everyone won't be that way. You will meet some shitty people. While I truly believe that people can change IF THEY WANT TO, there is nothing that can be done to force that change. Or have anyone see that what they are doing is hurtful.

Which means, you need to have a solid understanding of what your negotiables and non-negotiables are. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But once it starts going to racism, homophobia, transphobia, or taking away women's right... I will stand up and say something.

In the end... you need to realize that in order for you to see it and make a change you likely had to grow some pretty huge balls. Whether that was quitting your job, leaving your SO (or making them leave. Hell, maybe you got fired so it wasn't really a choice.

That's perfectly fine too!

You keep moving forward. Get the help and support that you need. And remember, you are not the things that happened to you.

You are the only one who gets to dictate who and what you are.

xo, Ani